God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
