i jhust puked up my retainher.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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