ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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