Whod you bang
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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