just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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