Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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