My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
