no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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