Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
