playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
