After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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