The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
