So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
did i walk over a car last night?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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