whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
