there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
