I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
