woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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