Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
