You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
