so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
