I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I haven't been this sober since birth.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
