Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
