Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
