i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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