just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
