i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
