In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
As shirtless as possible
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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