I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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