i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
