Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
