ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Girls should come with a carfax report
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
