I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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