i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
