You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
there is puke in my bra ... again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
