the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
