so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
