Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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