My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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