the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
