They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
