He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
