I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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