I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
