i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
