ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
