She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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