Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize