I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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