I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
