singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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