dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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