I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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