just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
